Let me start with two verses that will navigate my thoughts.
(Don't worry, my next blog entry will have some thanksgiving photos before we take off to Arkansas for Christmas.) I feel led to share thoughts and for the first time am not worried what happens from there...I'll explain more later (ha).
Galatians 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
1 Thessalonians 2:4 On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts.
If you take the time to look at the context of these verses you will be amazed at the motivation, conviction, and boldness Paul had in presenting the good news of Jesus Christ. Paul was not caught up in what I term
"Performance-based Christianity". He was concerned about Glorifying God as he continually presented the gospel that God was putting on his heart, not man. Tough to emulate Paul in today's world in this respect as I have always been somewhat of a people pleaser. Also, my family's financial welfare can influence
too greatly on my boldness to share the truth of the gospel, or how much to confront someone. I find myself relying more and more on the Spirit's prompting of when to be bold and confront tough issues that come with the territory of being a minister. As always, I am a
work in progress as I try and keep in step with the Spirit
(Gal. 5).
Yet, God graciously revealed to me recently how performance based I still have been in my ministry...and life in general. In a book I read called "The Search for Significance" about 10 years ago, the author laid out the performance trap: performance + other's opinion = self worth. Being a performer on stage, the baseball diamond, and just starting out in ministry...this really spoke to me. I have been battling wanting the favor of men more than the favor of God ever since. God convicts our hearts and minds in His due time and patience, but it took a major rejection to reveal how I valued praise of men, more than praise from Him: and how I was still trying to gain God's favor.
My time in Tennessee taught me many things and one sticks out...it was the first time in my life a significant male authority in my life had flat out rejected me...over and over. For the first time in my life I couldn't
"win" someone over that I needed to. Through this breaking down process I realized that I needed to rely more on pleasing God with my life more than pleasing a minister, my wife, or my family. This journey started about 3 years ago and God has been very gracious in teaching me how I have been "striving" to not only earn the favor of men, but His favor as well.
I have been convicted in parenthood and ministry that you can only take people as far as you're willing to be "taken" by God yourself. So, God recently used some mentors here to draw out how the need to perform and gain the favor of people has still been a motivation for me.
(Don't worry, I asked them to help identify my weaknesses!) Performance isn't always the motivation, but the Spirit convicted me the other day more than ever how
God views me...
I don't have to earn His favor!! I will
"never" have to earn His favor! No matter what God
"accomplishes" through me from here on, it will not change the way He loves and accepts me one bit. This kind of unconditional love and acceptance is found to be very rare in our relationships here on earth yet God's favor on us is called grace (
Definition of grace is unmerited favor). He doesn't force it on us as we have to accept this love and forgiveness freely and then freely give it away...but what an amazing thought that I don't have to
earn His favor. Jesus is enough! What peace, assurance, love, and confidence is found as you soak in that thought. Motivates me to love my wife, children, and teens the same way God loves me!
I wanted to share that with you guys as this is very freeing to me as a person and as a minister and I simply thought it would bless you!
Just receive it for yourself and hear God saying the same thing to you and receive it. Don't worry about this making me a steamroller not concerned of other's feelings...just rest in the fact we don't have to earn the favor of God! Jesus is enough...I love you guys.
Todd