Reflections from the Heart

I feel led to share some thoughts from the heart that I shared in chapel yesterday morning to a gym full of teenagers. This is a summary minus our engagement story and the jokes they fortunately laughed at!

Last week I was looking at our wedding pictures and was reminded of how my relationship started with Marcie and how it's hard to believe we have been married for over 12 years now. It's amazing the journey you take in marriage in the process of getting to know your spouse and in turn making yourself vulnerable and open to them. God quickly convicted me of the similarity to my relationship with Him.

Our marriage is definitely not perfect yet we have reached a point where there are no secrets from each other and we have laid our hearts open to each other. I'm fortunate enough to be married to someone who knows the good and the bad and still loves me unconditionally. It seems that you come to a point in marriage where you either tear down the walls that enable you to present yourself and your thoughts transparently, or you keep the wall in place and avoid the intimacy God has intended for you to experience. Marcie seems to know what I'm going to say before I say it and can read me to a point where it does no good to hide (why do women have to be right so often?)...I might as well embrace the fact we are allies on this journey together and I'm better off with her alongside me.

Isn't that the nature of God to know us from the inside out? Psalm 139 has become my favorite psalm and in reality is a very invasive picture of who God is and his relentless pursuit of us. David starts by writing, "Oh Lord you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I'm going to say even before I say it Lord." (Amazing how intimately God knows us, maybe even better than we know ourselves.) At times in marriage we can use work or hobbies to escape an unfulfilled relationship at home and the nature of God addresses this with us starting in verse 7, "I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence!" Even in our darkest moments of sin verse 11 continues to reveal the nature of God and his desire for us, "I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night -but even in darkness I cannot hide from you." David goes on to reveal how God even watched us being formed in utter seclusion of the womb. (He's watching little Eli as I write!)

Verses 17-19 convicted me of how important I am to my God, "How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!" God knows everything about us...and still desires us fully and unconditionally. I might as well embrace Him and give myself to Him fully as David did. Verses 19-22 could throw you off, but the point is when David presents his enemies to God, he completely leaves and entrusts his enemies fate to God. He lets God be the judge. He learned this after what he did to Uriah.

I might as well embrace the intimacy of my relationship with Marcie...I might as well embrace the intimacy with God...they know everything about me anyway. Amazingly they still desire and want a relationship with me. I couldn't escape them even if I tried. May we invite God in as ultimately, He desires to take residence inside of us as His most intimate gesture. May we shut any doors of our heart we have opened to the enemy and command the keys back to give to Jesus. May I pray as David did in verses 23-24, "Search me O God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Hebrews 4:12 tells us the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is exposed and naked before His eyes, and He is the one to whom we are accountable...and He still desires every bit of us...might as well invite him in.

I presented all of that in 10 minutes and the teens actually liked it. Looking for the Nature of God, the Life of Jesus, and the Role of the Spirit in our lives today in my Bible reading has made it much more meaningful and exciting. Blessings to you!!

Todd